You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
