Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
