So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize