yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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