2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
