I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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