Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
