He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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