ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i think my cat just said my name.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
