Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
there was a trapeze. enough said
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
