This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
