she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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