Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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