Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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