I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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