You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
