do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
