Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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