bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi