brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We have started to decorate penises.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke