I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.