Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...