Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.