What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
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The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college