i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
