I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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