I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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