Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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