oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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