we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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