Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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