So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He better not be in your backpack
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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