Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
