yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
