Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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