Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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