ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
