Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
