Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize