dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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