So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
