You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
