Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize