At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
