I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They took my balls.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
