make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this beer tastes like vomit already
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
