the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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