You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
