Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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