Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Randomize
