Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
