If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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