Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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