2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize