I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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