We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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