wake up i wanna do it froggy style
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
