I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
