she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
