just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she pinky promised me she was 18
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can't turn off my feet"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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