If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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