Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
