I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
