I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
