i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize