yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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