she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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