just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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