Quick, to the slutcave!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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