My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
